Valentine’s Day Message……2016

Valentine’s Day Message……

The first kind of love we are familiar with is the bio-chemical love, the, ‘Let’s make love.’

The second kind is romantic love, ‘Mary loves John and John loves Mary.’ This second kind of love, the romantic love and the need for love, has a polarity, which is indifference and which sometimes involves jealousy and possessiveness. This kind of love is based on the fact that we don’t yet know who we are. And that the other person involved allows us to meet our true self by turning us on to the place inside our self where we are love. So you say “he and I” or “she and I are in love,” meaning we connect each other to the place in ourselves where we are love. This is needful love, because we need our connection, and if he or she leaves the relationship, we can’t find the place within, the place where we are love. Sometimes we get frightened that we’re going to lose our connection to the other and to love.

The third quality of love or level of love is conscious love, where we have found that place in our self and we become it. And we ‘are’ a statement of that love. And our every action is not consciously designed to assert that we love everyone, and everyone loves us, because we ‘are’ love.

Then, there is no more need for anyone to love us. All we experience is a feeling of present flow with everyone in the universe. We are in love with the universe; we do not actively seek love, but we are ‘in’ love; in fact we exist in the space of conscious love, which is Christ love. That is what whole and sacred love is about.

There’s no neurosis or need in that. For one to become that, we have to give up the stuff inside of us that keeps us from being it. And the major thing is our self-unworthiness. Most of our personality was built upon our unworthiness. Just let it go. Every time something comes up that makes one feel unworthy, or where one feels the need to assert their unworthiness, simply try, try to be right here, open, honest, straight, witness and see everything that happens and use the experience itself in relation to your awakening to God, right here.

And when you walk out into the night, take in the feelings into your body, the lights, the walking on the cement, whatever is around you take it all in, in love. Don’t worship the feelings and don’t run from them. Acknowledge them, allow them, they are all a part of the dance with God. Just play with God, but play in such a way that you get home, don’t play in such a way that you get lost.

Sometimes we get home by remembering; we keep remembering and remembering, again and again we remember. It is good to visit remembering, but don’t live there, instead strive for the balance of remembering and living and caring. Spend your love, your truth, caring, looking up, looking down, spend it by uplifting all of the beings around you at the same time spend it on yourself.

And how do you spend this energy of love on yourself and the beings around you? By feeding those around you, caring about them, walk with them on their path and providing a space for them. By living our lives in a conscious way, in every social role we have and remembering to look up. Because the looking up is what ultimately frees all beings from suffering. Ultimately, we will be able to look at suffering, disease, old age and death and be able to say, ‘Yes, I understand the flow and process and here I am.’ Until we are that clear, that conscious and free, every experience in life is an exercise for getting home.

Conscious Relationships

Sometimes, in the work that I do, I feel we are approaching a period of time when relationships are ready to go through a major redesign. The current paradigm isn’t working. People are unsatisfied in love; people don’t know how to make relationships work.

And, believe it or not, this isn’t a bad thing. Because when systems break-down, that’s when they change. I believe that’s what’s happening in the area of intimate partnership. The break-down is forcing us to move towards conscious love.

So what exactly is a conscious relationship?
It's a romantic relationship in which both partners feel committed to a sense of purpose, and that purpose is growth; individual growth; collective growth as a couple and growth that makes the world a better place.

Up until now, most people get into relationships to satisfy their own personal needs. This might work for a few years, but eventually the relationship fails us, and we end up unsatisfied as a result.

But when two people come together with the intention of growth, the relationship strives towards something much greater than gratification. The partnership becomes a journey of evolution, and the two individuals have an opportunity to expand more than they could alone. Deep satisfaction and long-term fulfillment arise as a result.

So if you’re someone who feels called to take your experience of romantic love to the next level, below are some qualities that characterize what being a conscious couple is all about.

1. The conscious couple is not attached to the outcome of the relationship - growth comes first.

Not being attached to the outcome of the relationship does not mean we don’t care what happens! It also doesn’t mean that we don’t have fantasies about how the relationship will turn out.

What it means is: we’re more committed to the experience of growth than we are to making the relationship “work.”

The reality is, we’re here to grow; physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. When growth stops, we automatically feel like something’s gone wrong, and it has; without growth, we aren’t fulfilling our soul’s purpose.

Unfortunately, relationships today tend to stifle growth more than enhance it. This is one of the main reasons we’re failing at romantic love.

We want our partners to act in a certain way, we repress ourselves to please to others, and soon enough, we feel small, oppressed and puzzled about who we’ve become. This, inevitably, makes the relationship feel like a cage that we want to break out of. But the unfortunate truth is: we’ve caged ourselves.

The conscious couple values growth more than anything else because they know this is the secret to keeping the relationship alive. Even though growth is scary (because it takes us into the unknown), the couple is willing to strive towards expansion, even at the risk of out-growing the relationship. Because of this, the relationship maintains a natural feeling of aliveness, and love between the couple does, too.

2. Each person in the relationship is committed to owning their stuff. Conscious couples know that we all have wounds from the past, and they understand that these wounds will inevitably be triggered, especially in a relationship. In other words, they expect to feel abandoned, trapped, rejected, overlooked and a host of other emotions that arises when we bond closely with another person.

Most of us still believe that relationships should only feel good, and when bad feelings surface, something has gone terribly wrong. What we fail to see in this situation is that these negative feelings stem from our own faulty patterning. These issues are not caused by our partners; they’re caused by our beliefs.

The conscious couple is willing to look at their past and current issues in relationships because they know that by facing these beliefs systems, they can evolve into a new relationship-reality. Dysfunctional patterns will dissolve, but only when we take responsibility for them, first.

3. All feelings are welcome and no internal process is condemned.
In a conscious relationship, there’s room to feel anything. Not only that, there’s room to express those feelings and fantasies to your partner. This is edgy territory… it’s not easy to do. But it’s also one of the most healing things we can experience in a partnership.

It’s rare to be completely honest about who we are, and to stretch our self and to let our partner do the same. We may not like what we hear; in fact, it may trigger the heck out of us. But we’re willing to be triggered if it means our partner can be authentic.

We’re used to molding and changing ourselves to please people we love because we don’t want them to stop loving us! This stifles the love out of our connections.

The only option is radical honesty: revealing parts of ourselves that are hard to share, and letting our partners do the same. This leads to feeling known, seen and truly understood — a combination that will automatically enhance love.

4. The relationship is a place to practice love.
Love, ultimately, is a practice of remaining present, a practice of forgiveness, and stretching our heart into vulnerable territories.
Sometimes we treat love like it’s a destination. We want that peak feeling all the time, and when it’s not there, we’re not satisfied with what the relationship has become. In my mind, this is missing the whole point of love.

Love is a journey and an exploration. It’s showing up for all varied nuances of the relationship and asking ourselves, What would love do now?” The answer will be different every time, and because of this, we will grow in ways we never have before.

The conscious couple is fiercely committed to being the essence and embodiment of love for the sake of love; and through this devotion and practice, love shows up in their lives and relationship in ways they would’ve never imagined before.

Welcome to the path of the conscious relationship. Welcome to the next level of Love……. Happy Love Day dear friends.